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Yes...did you realise that?? Diet is DIE with a T....I think there is hidden meaning there, eg if you go on a Diet then you will DIE, I can't think of a more valid reason NOT to go on a Diet than possibly losing my life, can you?
And so armed with this knowledge fellow Fatologists, I feel that for our own safety we should continue to feed our Chocoholic "Habit" and therefore choose NOT to stare death in the face....frankly, IMO it's just not worth it.
Yes if you go on a Diet you may lose weight and you MAY get down to that size 8 you always wanted to be, but obviously you will DIE after going on the Diet in order to achieve that size 8 body, so really, what would you have achieved? Very little really...except maybe your funeral will be less expensive for your loved ones because they won't need to buy one of those JUMBO sized caskets, rather a nice small sevelte one to show off your lean DEAD size 8 bod....
Really food for thought....and with the fear of staring death in the face after my lovely salad dinner tonight, I'm off to enjoy a lovely coffee with NO sugar and SKIM MILK...while I scoff on a choccie....
Stay happy!
xox
Well good morning fellow Fatologists....what a break between posts! All the while, no I wasn't getting slimmer and working on getting rid of my cankles, I was trying to eat my share of Cadbury chocolates before the recall of the ones made in China was announced...hey what a waste EVEN if it does have melamine in it - had no one thought that it might enhance that already wonderful sweet chocolately flavour?
Isn't sarcasm wonderful?
I haven't been well which is the TRUE reason for the long length between posts. I did actually lose a bit of weight through not wanting to eat while coughing up my left lung. You will be happy to know that I have been working hard at putting the weight back on by getting my chocolate eating habit back on track.....
I was thinking the other day that as true "addicts", perhaps we should be doing what drug "addicts" do and stating how much our "habit" is costing us on a daily basis in dollar sums...if other "addicts" get to, why not us?
And so here I state....I have a $3.00 a day "habit". I don't know how those "drug addicts" manage a $100+ "habits", my $3.00 a day "habit" is sending me broke.....
Next week (eeeeek that means tomorrow!!!) the diet starts....
Oh my it would appear that I have fallen off the wagon in such spectacular fashion that the crash may just well have been seen from outer space. I can see the headlines now...."Great Wall of China, not the only man made thing to be seen from out of space....Fatologist falling off the wagon also makes for great viewing".
There are no excuses that I can possibly fathom to make up for my lack of posting or willpower in sticking to the diet, trust me I've tried!
I've just been slack, lazy, can't really be arsed type of attitoode, you know how it gets. You say you're going to do something and plough head first into it with the same enthusiasm that the fat German kid from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory does upon entering the river of chocolate (by the way his name was Augustus Gloop, how rude of me to just call him "the fat German kid" - even though he was!). However then, you realise what it is you've promised yourself you will do, how you will have to actually give up chocolate and all things nice in order to achieve this slim, svelte size 8 body you so dream of and ~wham~ reality hits.
So my chocolate binges, of late, have unfortunately increased, in fact I seem to be eating MORE of the stuff recently than I had in a long time....
I've put on weight and so has the better half, of course this is my fault he's put weight on, for some reason, even in his late 30's I'm still responsible for what passes past those lips of his ~ I still can't work that one out but he's always right, so why should this time be any different? I shan't argue however because I'm a Susie homemaker and Susie homemakers don't argue, instead they call their husbands Sir and respond to them only when spoken to....~Snort yeah right, that so ain't me!
So as I said in a previous post, onwards and upwards from here....I have a little bit of chocolate left in the house and that shall be hoovered oops I mean eaten today and then thats it, nothing, nada, zilch NO MORE chocolate shall pass these lips, losing weight we shall be doing...though unfortunately I don't think I'm going to be doing my Pamela Anderson running down the beach shot so artfully Baywatch scene this summer.....unless oh hang on no, they didn't do a beached whale episode did they?
The Fatologist
So individuality...its something we all have and yet we all choose to show it different ways. For some it might be a different kind of job, others a different hairstyle. Some may decide to get a tattoo to show themselves or piercings. Others its attitudes. Some want to be individual but are too afraid of what others think of them.
Why do we care what others think of us? Why do we let others opinions of us affect how we live and what we do? Why is it that some can skip down the street and not bat an eyelid about what others may be thinking as they do so and yet, others can't for fear of being ridiculed. I used to be the former but am not the latter....I'm working on becoming the former again....
It's time we regained our sense of selves and throw caution to the wind and did what we wanted to do, sod the consequences and what others think of us....it's time to be US in all our glory!!!
I started this blog as a way to tackle my complete lack of get up and go about weight lose (which had apparently got up and gone about a week after I started piling ON the kg"s!!).
It was a way for me to be accountable for what I am doing to my body, or not doing to it in the way of eating right and exercising it.
However I have also found, that this blog is a place for me to escape to, to get away from MY life and all the mundane, upsetting, annoying, angry and at times completely frustrating things that go along with it.
My life at the minute is hard and thats putting it lightly. I'm currently watching a parent die and trying to support other family members through it, dealing with my own feelings about (not very well I might add), all while putting on a brave face and not letting them see how well I'm NOT coping. One person who must be commended here is my beloved partner who is handling the situation very well and has been nothing short of a rock for me, especially last night when my facade slipped and everything I'd been bottling up came tumbling out.
I caught sight of photographs taken of me last week and it's shocked me into reality with a nice quick jab to my fatty layers, not that I felt it.... well...because it was my fatty layers LOL. I didn't quite realise what a heffa~lump I had turned into...how is it that when I look in the mirror, I see a gorgeous curvaceous, voluptuous woman but when I see photographs of myself what I see is a fat, big hipped, round faced lump LOL...I think my mirror is lying to me LOL!!!!
I suppose if there is an upside to all the stress in my life at the moment is that it seems to be turning my appetite off...and I seem to be losing my taste, desire and loooonged for feelings for chocolate ~ oh the horror! Hopefully this will lead to an appetite change and I will find myself craving healthy foods, rather than fatty ones.
In wrapping up this post, which seems slightly jumbled ~ even to me, I guess I just wanted to make it clear that Fatologist isn't just about my battle to recover my body and shed my weight but a place where I can find refuge from the world and express my thoughts without fearing judgment from anyone even you lot, my readers....well I hope I don't!!
So I decided that maybe my blog needed a theme song...or perhaps it's that me and any of my fellow FATOLOGISTS needed a theme song. However the question was....what?
I came up with at least three possibilities....the first one is ACDC's A Whole Lotta Rosie and the second was Mika's Big Girl....the third was of course Queen's Fat Bottomed Girls....all three are rather fitting but I'm not sure if there are more options out there for a possible theme song...suggestions would be more than welcome!!
~Fatologist~
Friendship is a wonderful thing.
Now I know that this isn't news but hey my brain works in mysterious ways and I routinely find myself letting my mind wander to new and weird wonderful places and I end up having random thoughts and sometimes I like to share those thoughts with completely strangers aka YOU GUYS!
Don't you love how I'm so big headed that I just PRESUME that people are reading this blog? I mean seriously now, who am I? I'm no one special so why would anyone really want to read my ramblings? Maybe I should come up with a loyalty scheme, umm say you read consistently for 3 weeks and I'll send you a t'shirt saying "I'm a wannbe Fatologist!!"
Right back on topic...I was driving to the shops yesterday when I saw three VERY large birds flying together way up high in the sky (oh lord, it rhymes and NO this is not going to be a rhyming poem that is pure coincidence and it shall cease NOW!). I noticed as I was driving (yes I'm talented and can both drive and take my eyes off the road to look upwards - and I'm yet to cause an accident in doing this!) that one of the birds was struggling to keep up with the other two, it seemed to need to take alot more "flaps" to keep up pace...and yet the other birds made sure they hung back enough to stay as a group, they compensated for one bird not being strong enough to fly as well as it should. It made me think how good friendships do this. If a friend is down and not feeling like they should, good friends will rally around and try to bolster them, offer them support and best of all, they won't fault the weaker person of the friendship, they will look at you just like you're you, no one different in any way. True friends don't see your faults or weakness they just see you!
Good morning online world...how do you find yourself this morning? I hope you're buzzing with activity and alive and well and that millions are riding you! Wow that doesn't sound good does it! If I was talking about anything else or anyone else other than the internet it would sound like he/she was the town bicycle!!!!
Could you imagine a world without the internet? I can't and it's actually scary just trying to. I would be able to blog incognito and get thousands around the world (yeah right!) to read my waffling, I could do my banking online and obsessively log in 10 times a day to check my bank balance hasn't mysteriously dwindled between now and when I logged in to check 20 minutes ago(!) and I couldn't visit some of my favourite sites, including the one I frequent most about living frugally in this material obsessed world! I mean seriously people, how much crap do we have to accumulate to make ourselves feel like we're "something"?
I'm trying to make a very big effort this year to "get back to basics" but it's actually harder than you'd think. I never realised how material based most of our lives are until I looked around and noticed all the "stuff" I had that in reality I didn't need as it wasn't enhancing my life anymore. In fact all it was doing was providing an obstacle in the back bedroom, which meant it took me half an hour to negotiate towards the ironing board every time I wanted to use it! So a couple of weeks ago, I went right through the kitchen and threw out everything I hadn't used in the past 3 months, hey if it hasn't been used obviously no need for it eh? My kitchen is now clutter free, "stuff" free and now easier to cook in, I just have to learn how to cook and I'll be able to put it to good use! I have also cleared the back bedroom up...but all that did was move the mess to the side bedroom, oh well baby steps!!
Speaking of a simpler life...well we were weren't we, less "stuff" to me means simpler! It has made me start to think a bit simpler as well, forgetting how to spell stuff, to do things, heck I may even forget to get up tomorrow and spend the whole day in bed, in fact that could be a good one for being frugal too - in bed all day = no time to go out and buy stuff, if I'm in bed I don't need to use an electricity and if I sleep all day then no food will be consumed either - hey this could be a winner on all fronts! I could get slim, while saving money - the ultimate diet and all you have to do is stay in bed all day and sleep! How come no one has thought of this before?
Unfortunately I have to report that today is going to be a bad day diet wise...I have the "parentals" coming over for morning tea this morning, which means I get to eat scones and jam and cream...ummmmm I mean I DON'T get to eat all that...uh uh not this savvy dieter none of that will be going past these lips....oh but to think the softness of a scone....the sweetness of jam and the smooth velvety texture that is cream....but NO not for me.....
~Fatologist~
So it's time to get real. Wow how many times have I heard myself saying that before eh? Wayyyyy too many. How many times have I looked into the mirror and though ugh you fat slob, it's time to do something about your weight and then followed it up with a Mars Bar while thinking about how to tackle my weight loss....hey heres an idea...lose the Mars Bar!?!?!?! LOL
So I've decided that I want a new job, one with more hours, so I can afford more "stuff" that won't make me happier, nor fulfill my life more BUT will trick my brain into thinking I'm much happier now because I have the extra "stuff" that in reality I didn't need. So really if I could just work out how to convince my brain not to think I'm happier because of the all the new "stuff", I could just forgo buying all the new "stuff" and stay in my current job!? Fuck I'm exhausted - but hey thats cause I'm unfit - yes even my brain is a rooted, lard ass of a thing.
Ok so why was I posting today *thinking, thinking* oh thats right because I caught a view of myself in a shop window today and actually had to look twice to recognise who the lard ass was that was looking back at me...umm hello do I know you? Of course you do, I'm YOU!
I went into Tar'get to look for some nice black pants - hey I figured if I do get a new swanky office job, I'm not going to be allowed to go into work in my slobby, yucky but EVER SO COMFY track daks am I? Though I don't see why not, as long as I do the job, it should be fine, in fact if I was comfortable in what I was wearing I'd probably do my job better and who knows in the process start an entire revolution in what you can and can't wear to work....lawyers could start turning up to court in comfy piled tracksuits, Dr's could be consulting wearing their favourite boardshorts and if you were really lucky and were a male with a female Dr she may just turn up to work in a Bikini in summer - in fact I truly believe this idea should be explored. Perhaps I should do a trial at work and see how far I can push my boss as to what he deems "acceptable" for me to wear while serving the public. In fact after seeing what some of THEM wear while expecting me to serve them and NOT to snigger at them, I should be able to turn up in my PJ's...as some of them do - in the middle of the afternoon!!!
Oh looky I've started to ramble again and gotten completely off subject. So where was I *hmm* oh thats that right looking at nice black pants. I tried a couple of pairs on and was NOT happy Jan at all. I used to be pretty confident about my curves but lately, well lets just say I've noticed that I have my curves and about 3 other peoples too, which does not look AS sexy as when you just have your own curves LOL! Before I could whip those pants off and leave myself standing there with my dimpled thighs seemingly magnified in the changing room mirror with just my undies and top on, I had already recommitted to my diet, my diet that I have shamelessly broken over the past week!
Also in the process of turning myself into the absolute stunning size 8 chickadee that I KNOW exists within this body, I will also be putting myself out there - whats the saying, life is there to be lived, it's better to be a participant in it than a spectator!
So from this point forward, be prepared to commit yourself to reading daily in fact sometimes MULTI daily posts about my AMAZING weight loss and my fantastic exploits in the wonderful world of planet Earth....it's time to be scared people....very scared!!
~Fatologist~
Oh dear...day 2 and a failure already...this however does not surprise your lil author here...to be honest, I expected it. Every other time I have given up chocolate "cold turkey" it has been a disaster...just doesn't work for me, something in my brain won't allow this bod to be fine with the words "right thats it, that was your last piece of chocolate, no more for you". My body has a minor panic attack at the thought and instantly craves more straight away. I've found the only way for me to let go of the chocolate addiction is to break away slowly....
So we all know where this is leading, thats correct last night I enjoyed some of that mouth watering chocolate once again BUT on a positive note, I drank shitloads of water yesterday, was unusually active @ work and had a healthy lunch of Stir Fry and then some lovely Chilli for dinner! So all was not lost!
Today I'm off to the Greengrocers for some yummy fruit and veg, so as of tomorrow I can start juicing!
More later today....
~Fatologist~
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh ok...well last night was the night I enjoyed my last sweet piece of that lovely gorgeous smooth as silk, melt in the mouth....chocolate! I savoured every mouthful and let the gorgeous feel and taste roll around my mouth until...it was all gone **sob**!
So today...new lifestyle begins, which means exercise - though none will be undertaken today because I'm @work...., bland food on mass....fruit and veg is being bought tonight and the juicing begins tomorrow morning....come Monday after 2 days sans Chocolate, god help anyone who crosses my path!!
I'm feeling nervous, daunted at the prospect of my journey but also incredibly excited, thinking how hot and just downright sexy I'm going to look once I've shed the equivalent of a house from my body! Well thats my story and I'm sticking to it! Lets hope the chocolate withdrawals aren't too bad for the ole bod and I don't bite anyones head off while @ work today...or their hand should they be holding a piece chocolate!
~Fatologist~
Ok...where to start...here seems like a good place...no in fact wait, how about over here...no in fact over there looks alot better, yes ok - here will do just fine. Now that I'm comfortable, are you? No? Perhaps you should move then? Ok well here goes....Hi, how are ya? Good I hope. I'm presuming you've just randomly stumbled across my blog in cyber space and as you sit there (or possibly stand, I would hate for you to think that I'm being positionist!) reading my blog, you're possibly thinking, this girl is nuts and she's only typed one paragraph! Well you'd be right, I am nuts, loops, slightly insane, however you like to put it, I'm happy to oblige, I don't mind labels! I imagine being sane would actually be quite boring and it's not a state I ever want to find myself in....sometimes there is nothing and none more entertaining to talk to than yourself!
Ok so as the title suggests...this is a declaration....a declaration of FATDOM dum dum dum!!!! Basically it means I sit here and I tell the whole world (oh gee listen to me getting all big headed thinking more than one person will ever read this blog - think not!) that I'm fat. There is no use hiding the fact anymore, I can't fit into a size 8, in fact I've never been able to fit into a size 8, the smallest dress size this bod has ever seen is a 12 and trust me when I say it was grateful to have seen that, it DREAMS of seeing that size again! I don't walk, I waddle. My thighs have never had to wave from afar to each other, they can actually hold hands while I walk.
I'm not proud of my fatness...in fact I'm quite ashamed of it...which is why I am here. This embarrassment is why fatologist.blogspot.com was created. It's here to make me be accountable for the shocking state that my body finds itself in. Every entry will be there so that I can make myself accountable for actions, hopefully they will be positive actions but there will probably be "lack of action" occasionally too and they will be logged the same. Every sneaked square of chocolate will be posted about, every fizzy drink that shouldn't have been consumed will be discussed here.
Today or actually tomorrow (see procrastinating already LOL!) is the first day of the rest of my life...in one years time, I will NOT be the fat girl I am today, sitting here bitching that "I wished I'd done something about my fatness a year ago".
So reader(s) (there I go again becoming hopeful that I may have some friends/strangers to accompany me on my journey)...please feel free to enjoy the journey with me, it will be a rollercoaster, there will be severe ups and downs, occasionally the coaster willencounter a loop, so it's advised to have your seat belts fastened at all times....and don't forget if you scream...you still can't get off, I can't, I'm strapped to the beast for the long haul...that means you are too!
~Fatologist~
