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So it's time to get real. Wow how many times have I heard myself saying that before eh? Wayyyyy too many. How many times have I looked into the mirror and though ugh you fat slob, it's time to do something about your weight and then followed it up with a Mars Bar while thinking about how to tackle my weight loss....hey heres an idea...lose the Mars Bar!?!?!?! LOL
So I've decided that I want a new job, one with more hours, so I can afford more "stuff" that won't make me happier, nor fulfill my life more BUT will trick my brain into thinking I'm much happier now because I have the extra "stuff" that in reality I didn't need. So really if I could just work out how to convince my brain not to think I'm happier because of the all the new "stuff", I could just forgo buying all the new "stuff" and stay in my current job!? Fuck I'm exhausted - but hey thats cause I'm unfit - yes even my brain is a rooted, lard ass of a thing.
Ok so why was I posting today *thinking, thinking* oh thats right because I caught a view of myself in a shop window today and actually had to look twice to recognise who the lard ass was that was looking back at me...umm hello do I know you? Of course you do, I'm YOU!
I went into Tar'get to look for some nice black pants - hey I figured if I do get a new swanky office job, I'm not going to be allowed to go into work in my slobby, yucky but EVER SO COMFY track daks am I? Though I don't see why not, as long as I do the job, it should be fine, in fact if I was comfortable in what I was wearing I'd probably do my job better and who knows in the process start an entire revolution in what you can and can't wear to work....lawyers could start turning up to court in comfy piled tracksuits, Dr's could be consulting wearing their favourite boardshorts and if you were really lucky and were a male with a female Dr she may just turn up to work in a Bikini in summer - in fact I truly believe this idea should be explored. Perhaps I should do a trial at work and see how far I can push my boss as to what he deems "acceptable" for me to wear while serving the public. In fact after seeing what some of THEM wear while expecting me to serve them and NOT to snigger at them, I should be able to turn up in my PJ's...as some of them do - in the middle of the afternoon!!!
Oh looky I've started to ramble again and gotten completely off subject. So where was I *hmm* oh thats that right looking at nice black pants. I tried a couple of pairs on and was NOT happy Jan at all. I used to be pretty confident about my curves but lately, well lets just say I've noticed that I have my curves and about 3 other peoples too, which does not look AS sexy as when you just have your own curves LOL! Before I could whip those pants off and leave myself standing there with my dimpled thighs seemingly magnified in the changing room mirror with just my undies and top on, I had already recommitted to my diet, my diet that I have shamelessly broken over the past week!
Also in the process of turning myself into the absolute stunning size 8 chickadee that I KNOW exists within this body, I will also be putting myself out there - whats the saying, life is there to be lived, it's better to be a participant in it than a spectator!
So from this point forward, be prepared to commit yourself to reading daily in fact sometimes MULTI daily posts about my AMAZING weight loss and my fantastic exploits in the wonderful world of planet Earth....it's time to be scared people....very scared!!
~Fatologist~
Oh dear...day 2 and a failure already...this however does not surprise your lil author here...to be honest, I expected it. Every other time I have given up chocolate "cold turkey" it has been a disaster...just doesn't work for me, something in my brain won't allow this bod to be fine with the words "right thats it, that was your last piece of chocolate, no more for you". My body has a minor panic attack at the thought and instantly craves more straight away. I've found the only way for me to let go of the chocolate addiction is to break away slowly....
So we all know where this is leading, thats correct last night I enjoyed some of that mouth watering chocolate once again BUT on a positive note, I drank shitloads of water yesterday, was unusually active @ work and had a healthy lunch of Stir Fry and then some lovely Chilli for dinner! So all was not lost!
Today I'm off to the Greengrocers for some yummy fruit and veg, so as of tomorrow I can start juicing!
More later today....
~Fatologist~
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh ok...well last night was the night I enjoyed my last sweet piece of that lovely gorgeous smooth as silk, melt in the mouth....chocolate! I savoured every mouthful and let the gorgeous feel and taste roll around my mouth until...it was all gone **sob**!
So today...new lifestyle begins, which means exercise - though none will be undertaken today because I'm @work...., bland food on mass....fruit and veg is being bought tonight and the juicing begins tomorrow morning....come Monday after 2 days sans Chocolate, god help anyone who crosses my path!!
I'm feeling nervous, daunted at the prospect of my journey but also incredibly excited, thinking how hot and just downright sexy I'm going to look once I've shed the equivalent of a house from my body! Well thats my story and I'm sticking to it! Lets hope the chocolate withdrawals aren't too bad for the ole bod and I don't bite anyones head off while @ work today...or their hand should they be holding a piece chocolate!
~Fatologist~
Ok...where to start...here seems like a good place...no in fact wait, how about over here...no in fact over there looks alot better, yes ok - here will do just fine. Now that I'm comfortable, are you? No? Perhaps you should move then? Ok well here goes....Hi, how are ya? Good I hope. I'm presuming you've just randomly stumbled across my blog in cyber space and as you sit there (or possibly stand, I would hate for you to think that I'm being positionist!) reading my blog, you're possibly thinking, this girl is nuts and she's only typed one paragraph! Well you'd be right, I am nuts, loops, slightly insane, however you like to put it, I'm happy to oblige, I don't mind labels! I imagine being sane would actually be quite boring and it's not a state I ever want to find myself in....sometimes there is nothing and none more entertaining to talk to than yourself!
Ok so as the title suggests...this is a declaration....a declaration of FATDOM dum dum dum!!!! Basically it means I sit here and I tell the whole world (oh gee listen to me getting all big headed thinking more than one person will ever read this blog - think not!) that I'm fat. There is no use hiding the fact anymore, I can't fit into a size 8, in fact I've never been able to fit into a size 8, the smallest dress size this bod has ever seen is a 12 and trust me when I say it was grateful to have seen that, it DREAMS of seeing that size again! I don't walk, I waddle. My thighs have never had to wave from afar to each other, they can actually hold hands while I walk.
I'm not proud of my fatness...in fact I'm quite ashamed of it...which is why I am here. This embarrassment is why fatologist.blogspot.com was created. It's here to make me be accountable for the shocking state that my body finds itself in. Every entry will be there so that I can make myself accountable for actions, hopefully they will be positive actions but there will probably be "lack of action" occasionally too and they will be logged the same. Every sneaked square of chocolate will be posted about, every fizzy drink that shouldn't have been consumed will be discussed here.
Today or actually tomorrow (see procrastinating already LOL!) is the first day of the rest of my life...in one years time, I will NOT be the fat girl I am today, sitting here bitching that "I wished I'd done something about my fatness a year ago".
So reader(s) (there I go again becoming hopeful that I may have some friends/strangers to accompany me on my journey)...please feel free to enjoy the journey with me, it will be a rollercoaster, there will be severe ups and downs, occasionally the coaster willencounter a loop, so it's advised to have your seat belts fastened at all times....and don't forget if you scream...you still can't get off, I can't, I'm strapped to the beast for the long haul...that means you are too!
~Fatologist~
